Kiss My Sass [Sebastian!]

[TAMER MARIE JOHNSON]

So maybe having to take a Septa bus with a super weirdo dead guy whose hand she kept trying to accidentally brush (always with what could easily be seen as a shy look, because it was, as little as Tamer liked to admit it) wasn't really the best experience of her life, because whenever he would make some snide comment, or would begin thinking out loud, she had to stifle her laughter until the urge passed. She had had enough of being seen as crazy for one day. Luckily, she had perfected the art of quickly typing up a text on her phone, thumbs flying over the touch screen with ease, and tilting it towards Sebastian so that they could hold a conversation without it being too damning. She wondered if Sebastian had had some thoughts about the peculiar autocorrect dictionary her phone had adopted.

But it was fine once she lead him off of the bus (luckily not too crowded, as she just got irritable and swore even more in those instances) and along the short walk to the dorms a street over from City Hall. She grabbed her ID card from her back pocket, swiped it through, knowing that getting through the bored security at the front desk would be no problem for her dead friend, nor would he have that little moment of panic when they went up in the sketchy-as-hell elevators. He was already dead! He didn't have to worry about the godawful things plunging down the shaft and ending the life he'd already lost. The school had assured them that no, that wouldn't happen! But Tamer didn't trust them. So it was always a relief that it stopped at her floor, and she quickly stepped out, digging in her cleavage for the key to her apartment. As she got closer, she could smell the stoners next door lighting up. She left them to their own thing, and let herself into the apartment, leaving the door open by habit for Sebastian, though she'd seen him walk through quite a few things on their trip. "Make yourself comfortable," she said, toeing off her flats. "Try not to track any dirt on my fuckin' table," she went on, shooting him a Very Serious look. "I'll go change my shirt so your delicate sensibilities aren't just ruined to hell."

From the entry, the large living space was to the left, which included the dining table, a worn by cozy couch, some extra thrift store chairs for company, and all of the games (mostly things like Zelda--Ocarina of Time all the way up to Twilight Princess, Pokemon, Animal Crossing, Mario, and some old Spyro and Crash Bandicoot). Kitchen to the right, the three bedrooms tucked away straight back. She padded barefoot over the solid flooring back into the largest and only single bedroom, covered in posters and photos of her friends, and Barney the stuffed wooly sheep nestled comfortably against her pillow. The air conditioning hummed steadily and daylight streamed through the sunroof in the ceiling. Tamer peeled off her low-cut shirt without bothering to shut the door, tossed it into her hamper, and fished through her drawers to find something more . . . appropriate. Finally she pulled out a baggy but comfortable shirt she used for sleeping, neckline perfectly modest.

It was only halfway on when she made her way back out, joining Sebastian and flopping down on the couch, stretching out her legs. "So where are you from, that you'd get free drinks for beating up a lady?" She knew he wasn't a Philly native from his accent, but shit if she could place it. Though she still had some feelings about his actions in the cafe, she sounded mostly amused and harmlessly curious. She rubbed her feet together, eyeing the Squirtle tattoo on the right one, and felt compelled to train her team--if she wasn't stuck happily watching her new best ghost friend playing instead.

[Sebastian Thorne]

Sebastian enjoyed the ride on the bus with Tamer though he had a sneaking suspicion that she actually cared whether or not people on the bus thought she was crazy. How exactly that was different from the cafe he wasn't entirely sure but he was amused by the strange suggestions her phone was producing, quirking an eyebrow at a particularly bizarre statement. But he let it go and just enjoyed the ride for once. Public transportation was sort of an iffy thing at times. It could be crowded and then people had a tendency to accidentally sit on him or walk through him or crowd into him. It was unpleasant for him but the reactions of the people crowding into his space...it was irritating at best.

When they walked up to the dorms, Sebastian found himself digging in his pocket for his wallet, glad he was standing enough behind Tamer that he was fairly confident she'd missed the motion as he walked through the door behind her, running his hand through his hair in embarrassment as he walked quickly past the security, remembering how he used to nod at them and smile as he walked past just After, convinced that they remembered him at last. "I haven't been back to the dorms in ages!" he murmured, chuckling as they headed into the rickety death-trap elevator as he twiddled his thumbs, curious about what floor Tamer lived on and whether or not she had roommates.

"Roommates? Crap! You don't have any of those, do you?" Sebastian asked as he walked through the door she held open for him, breathing a sigh of relief as he didn't see anyone in the main room. No crazy blind, deaf, and dumb roommates to startle away. Besides, she would've mentioned the roommates before if they'd existed, right?

"Make yourself comfortable. Try not to track any dirt on my fuckin' table. I'll go change my shirt so your delicate sensibilities aren't just ruined to hell."

"Thanks...I'll do my best," Seb murmured, smirking as he threw himself on the couch and grabbed the remote, turning on the TV as he propped his feet up on the table and began to flip through the channels. He was laughing at some commercial on the TV and startled when Tamer made her reappearance in 'more appropriate' attire.

"So where are you from, that you'd get free drinks for beating up a lady?"

"Who, me? I'm a Kansas boy," Sebastian said with a smile, picking up the remote where he'd dropped it on the ground and placing it next to him on the couch as he settled back in. "And I didn't 'beat her up', really. More 'encouraged her to leave'. If I'd beaten her up...well...I honestly don't know what would happen back home." That word was clearly tinged with more bitterness than he had intended, yet the ghost seemed to not have noticed as he was back to laughing about some ridiculous guy inventing a 'sock serum' for good socks. "I like socks," he remarked as he shot a passing glance at his black sneakers. It had been ages since he'd thought about them. "So...got any big evening plans I'm interrupting?"

[TAMER MARIE JOHNSON]

"Roommates? Crap! You don't have any of those, do you?" asked an exiteable Sebastian. It was kind of touching to see him, uh. Glowing? Oh shit, that seemed like it might be something that he could really do, and that would just be the worst because that asshole would totally just hover over her as she tried to sleep and would start glowing just to piss her off.

"Fuck no. I made those basic bitches get the fuck out. So I'm stuck here alone," she said with a crinkled nose. "Thank fuck, though. The last ones were fucking filthy, and I'm just like. Bitch, you can eat off the fucking floors of my kitchens, and you can't wash a goddamn plate? And the other one would just have obnoxious phone sex with her thirteen boyfriends a week, so I started shouting requests from the other room." She beamed with pride as she settled comfortably close to her new ghost friend, tucking her legs up next to her and propping an arm on the back of the couch. She was honestly much more interested in the dead boy flipping through her channels than what was showing on the television. "I get Netflix on the Wii, if you're just gonna watch stuff," she suggested gently, resting her chin on her forearm. Maybe she'd have looked like a lovesick puppy gazing at her brand new boyfriend if she hadn't been chewing on the backing to her labret stud, and gently touching her fingertips to his shoulder, almost patting him, testing out how much it would take to get him to turn solid enough to feel some resistance beneath her numb but vibrating fingertips.

"Who, me? I'm a Kansas boy."
"Oh well shit then I can see why the fuck you'd be here," she said, still gently patting and watching her fingers sinking smoothly into his shoulder. "What even is in Kansas?" She didn't make the connection between famous lines about Toto and his home state, but even if she had, she honestly knew nothing about it. She could picture only corn. Lots of corn. But that was kind of her basic idea of anything south of Delaware.

"And I didn't 'beat her up', really. More 'encouraged her to leave'."
Tamer laughed. He at least had a talent for bullshitting. "The fuck you did. Whatever, you rude asshole." Her broad grin faded a little when she heard the vitriol behind his mention of home. So he went from being a cheery 'Kansas boy' to sounding like he hated the place? Had he actually died there, or something, and just migrated his way up here? Was that possible? She debated for a moment actually asking him how it had happened, but she bit her tongue for once. What if it had been particularly horrible or violent or something? She didn't want to lose him because she was too curious and didn't have enough of a filter to gauge what the hell to say to someone. Thankfully, he changed the subject. "Fuck socks, though. I would be barefoot all the damn time if I could. I think even in the bakery at home, the customers are just kind of used to me kickin' off my shoes whenever the hell I can." She paused, glancing him over quickly. "So how, like, do ghost-clothes even work? Do you even have anything under them?" she asked, trying to pluck at the hem of his shirt to peek beneath, looking for a sliver of skin, or maybe just . . . a void into space or some shit like that. Super inappropriate? Fuck yeah. Call it payback. "Can you take them off ever?" She scooted a little bit closer, her knees almost touching the side of his leg. She felt a little chill against her skin from him, but she didn't mind. The more she stole some contact, the less surprising the sensations were. She felt them just the same, but it seemed to . . . grow on her, almost? Like, she didn't like them, like she could just flop on him and just happily enjoy the feelings for funsies, but she did find it kind of fun.

"So...got any big evening plans I'm interrupting?"
"Why the hell would I even have your skinny ass over here if I had big plans? I mean, like, other than the hot all-girl orgy I've got pencilled in for eight-thirty? You're okay with just watching, though, right?" She kept her face straight and met his gaze straight on. "Shit, no. I'm just planning on looking around Tumblr for some cute clothing patterns for Animal Crossing," she said, finally cracking a smile and laughing. "Where do you stay when you're not following girls around to their dorms?" she asked, kind of wanting to touch his face and pet his hair, just because he kept touching them. She kept her hands mostly to herself, settling instead for creeping one knee forward and making contact with his leg.

[Sebastian Thorne]

"What even is in Kansas?"

Sebastian sighed, grinning. Here it was again. The inevitable 'Shit, you're from Kansas?! With like...Dorothy and little yappy dogs and talking scarecrows and corn and shit? Whoa, man. Whoa.' moment. It had happened...and it actually had been a lot less stonerish than the last time he remembered someone freaking out about his home state. Not that Tamer was really 'freaking out'...but she asked so she brought this explanation on herself.

"Well, Dorothy, for one. But last I heard Auntie Em had Toto stuffed and placed him on the mantel, poor little guy." The smug grin at finally being able to complete that joke dissolved into laughter as thought of the T-shirt in the giftshop at KCI: 'You wanna know about KANSAS?! Dorothy's fine and Toto's dead.' It was slightly below 'Dear Dorothy, hate munchkins, hate Oz, hate all this walking, took the slippers and went back to KANSAS. xoxo Toto' now there was an example of man's best friend if ever Seb had heard of one.

"In all seriousness, Kansas is really not at all what most people think of. The only place where people are completely psycho about 'The Wizard of Oz' is Wamego. It's like...Ozfest 365 days of the year there. Not even kidding. Most everyone else is like 'Shut up about it already'. It's not flat...well...not all of it is flat. We have the Flint Hills so, yeah. Duh. I mean, really. HILLS. We might be 'backcountry hicks' to some people but a deviation of a couple inches is not a hill. Seriously. And we grow wheat mostly, or soybeans, or this like...weird stick-weed-thing with a red pouf on the top. Never did learn what that was called. And there's some other stuff too like the universities, and theme parks, and...stuff like that. Oh and there's lakes and pools so there's places you can go to hang out and swim and stuff. We aren't heathens." Apparently pools and hang out spots were very important to Sebastian, but the casual wink he tipped Tamer as well as the roguish smirk on his face betrayed him.

"Fuck socks, though. I would be barefoot all the damn time if I could. I think even in the bakery at home, the customers are just kind of used to me kickin' off my shoes whenever the hell I can."

Sebastian made a face as he looked over at her bare feet. "Really? Whatever happened to 'no shoes, no shirt, no service?' Kinda thought that sort of thing applied to everyone. Even secret pirate bar bakers...especially them, even. Wouldn't want the rabid scabs to follow you home and chew on your toes, now would we?"

"So how, like, do ghost-clothes even work? Do you even have anything under them?"

He frowned thoughtfully as he wiggled his toes underneath his black sneakers, watching the tips wobble. It had been quite a while since he had considered her questions himself. He had once thought about taking off the jacket--a black leather blazer--but he didn't have the issue of climate control, looked damned sexy in it (or so he'd been told), and it was his favorite jacket. What if he took it off and it just disappeared, never to be seen again? What if he took off all of his clothes one time and then he was just forced to wander around for eternity in his birthday suit. That would certainly make the papers if someone caught him like that.

"Or," he mused out loud, considering Tamer's suggestion that, in fact, there wasn't actually anything under the clothes at all and instead he was just somehow inhabiting space and controlling things by maintaining the idea that he had a body and was really just some sort of astral projection from his somehow or anotherly bound consciousness and--"We could just make this really confusing and assume these clothes exist because I want them to. And that I'm like some kind of...floating mind thing...y? Hoo boy!" Seb sighed and tugged at the cuff of his jacket looking suddenly surprised...and not in a good way. "Y'know...I've been at this a while and my shoes have never come untied. And I've never zipped up this jacket. Isn't that funny?" Though he laughed, it was short and sharp and he looked more crestfallen than actually amused. "But I didn't really answer your question, did I?" he continued, still frowning as he flicked the zipper pull with his index finger.

"Why the hell would I even have your skinny ass over here if I had big plans? I mean, like, other than the hot all-girl orgy I've got pencilled in for eight-thirty? You're okay with just watching, though, right?"

"Shit, girlfriend. All-girl orgies are like...," he stopped mid-thought and giggled. "I can't think about orgies without thinking about Anders from Dragon Age. You might not have played that one...dunno what all you're into. But there's this crazy little dwarf girl with these tattoos all over her face. She'd probably be really cute without them but who knows?" He shrugged, brightening as he continued talking about the game, still oblivious to Tamer's urges to touch him. "Anyways, she tricks him into thinking that there's this cult-thing that go and have these huge orgy parties. The poor guy was so into it. And I was just sitting there going 'Bro...she's definitely trolling you. Don't even respond to that, man!' And he just walks right into it! And I don't follow girls back to their dorms," he added, growing serious again as he responded to her question.

"I have a rule about that. I mean, what if a girl wanted to walk around topless or naked or something in the 'privacy' of her own room and there was like this stalker just chilling behind a potted plant in the entry way. Eventually, the poor girl is gonna notice and totally flip. But the first thing she'll try to do, probably, is cover herself up. They're never going to see me. I don't have permission to see what they might 'put out'. It's taking advantage. I might be dead, but I don't have to be a complete asshat, comprende? I used to hang out in the library a lot after...But now I just follow some gamer guy home and borrow his rig, usually. I don't need sleep so it's just kind of pointless, y'know? What about you? Where do you go when you aren't stuck in class or whoring out your tastebuds at that cafe?"

[TAMER MARIE JOHNSON]

"Well, Dorothy, for one. But last I heard Auntie Em had Toto stuffed and placed him on the mantel, poor little guy."
"Fuck Dorothy," she said simply. "Like, real talk? That movie isn't even good." Most people who she encountered had a very adverse reaction, mostly asking how she dared to hold an opinion that was less than shitting gold in praise of the glorious and wonderful shitpile that was Oz. But haters to the left.

"Oh shit hills. Thank . . . thank the sweet lord for hills, Kansas. Oh and soybeans!" Her facetious excitement extended only to the apparent draws of the state, but she was honestly and very endeared by his chattiness. "Being able to swim is the mark of not . . . being heathens? Dude what . . . even . . . what?" Her laughing lit up her face, and distracted her from her attempts to poke and prod his shoulder. She decided to give it up, since he wasn't responding at all, and that was just boring. "You're just. Super adorbs, okay. I just really need you to know that right now."

"Really? Whatever happened to 'no shoes, no shirt, no service?' Kinda thought that sort of thing applied to everyone."
"Well, like, whenever I was on prep duty, I'd have to keep shoes on, and when I was actually getting someone their fuckin' amazing cupcakes, I would wear 'em, but when I was just sitting on my ass waiting for people to order something, fuck that. Especially after I got my tattoo done? It just. Hurt too much to wear shoes at all, so I was pretty much just like 'no fuck you guys' and only put on flats whenever the actual cases were open. But I have cute feet, so they didn't give me any shit about it." She stretched her legs back out to show him exactly what she meant.

"We could just make this really confusing and assume these clothes exist because I want them to."
"What, so, like. Your clothes are just some kind of weird psychic projection or whatever? So you could just imagine yourself naked and then you would be? I dunno, dude, that . . . doesn't sound like such a bad deal," she teased, grinning slyly at him.
"Y'know...I've been at this a while and my shoes have never come untied. And I've never zipped up this jacket. Isn't that funny?"
"So you've never like, just . . . lifted your shirt or pushed up your sleeves or anything?" Tamer's tone was softer to suit the intent look he was giving the zipper of his jacket. It was a nice jacket, and it did look really good on him, but she quietly held out a hand, wanting to help him explore things that he seemed to never consider before she started getting too curious. That was the least she could do, right? If she was asking him about how his existence worked, then she should at least offer to help him with any toughness that came from it, if he even was willing to explore the possibility. She kind of hoped that he would! It was a really interesting thing to wonder about, but she wasn't going to be a super giant asshole and say that oh man she really had to know what the fuck was even under his shirt, regardless of whether it was the entrance to a black hole like she'd seen on some space shows recently, or if it was just not-skin like the stuff he'd petted on his hand (the memory of the feel, the not-quite-right texture, sent a small shiver along the bottom of her spine. Her thumb twitched just a little. "Well I mean I guess it doesn't really matter what you're made of, right?" she said, trying to sound helpful. "And, like, it would be pretty cool if you were hiding a black hole under your shirt or whatever, but I think your face is cute enough to make up for not being able to see your wrists. I mean, I dunno about other ladies you've known, but although a little flash of a dude's wrist is basically the biggest turn-on ever, I think I can contain myself." She settled her chin back on her forearm, still letting the other hand rest on her thigh, palm up like in the cafe, waiting for him to accept or decline getting another chance.

"Shit, girlfriend. All-girl orgies are like...I can't think about orgies without thinking about Anders from Dragon Age."
"Whaaaaat?" Tamer's eyebrows raised. "Well fuck if there wouldn't at least be some good fuckin' kissers if it's all girls," she replied, shrugging a little and not even a bit of sarcasm, though she smiled. "I've seen my friends play a little, but I don't . . . remember anything about orgies. I remember one of the douchebags who hung around going on and on about how many different people you could fuck, and how to do it, and I played for like half an hour, I think? But she was kind of a simplebitch, and just sat on her ass doing nothing but playing games and making messes all fuckin' day, so I didn't get to actually do much before I had to clean up after her stupid drunk ass because she had to run upstairs to throw up and pass out."

"And I don't follow girls back to their dorms." Tamer blinked. Did he not know . . . where he was . . .? "I don't have permission to see what they might 'put out'."
Tamer snorted. "Well, I hereby give you permission for whatever I put out," she said, putting particular emphasis on the very awkward phrasing. "No but really that's a good rule. And I make a point of having open door policies for my friends, so, just. Fair warning, I do tend to not wear pants sometimes. I honestly don't give a fuck, but you seem to have a very, uh, delicate nature when it comes to me showing any skin. So if you ever, you know, wanna just come over, that'd be okay." She didn't have any boyfriends (or girlfriends, if Sebastian was beginning to get that idea, though she was actually straight!) that Sebastian could possibly walk in on, and any get-togethers that she had with friends would probably benefit from the snarky asshole's presence, even if her other friends couldn't see. They knew that she was kinetic, so as long as he was alright with being stuck with only one person being able to see him, she would be happy to entertain him alone. "You ever miss kissing?" she asked, caught up again in the idea of kissing girls being the only source of anything good. "I think that's one of the things I would probably miss the most."

"I used to hang out in the library a lot after...But now I just follow some gamer guy home and borrow his rig, usually. I don't need sleep so it's just kind of pointless, y'know?"
"The library?" she repeated softly. "You are basically a turbonerd," she said, laughing. "Aw fuck and I was going to suggest we have a sleepover and paint each other's fuckin' nails." She considered for a moment. They still could have a sleepover, maybe, but the traditional kind where the goal was to just stay up as late as possible. Sebastian would win, obviously, but she could still at least put up a good effort.

"Where do you go when you aren't stuck in class or whoring out your tastebuds at that cafe?"
"Here, basically. When I don't have to go help out Mom and Dad in the bakery, I just sit around here and either just like. Dick around or have my besties over. Still too young to go to any bars or anything, but I'm okay just being here. Except for when my friends decide to just be giant dicks and eat all of my food or whatever. One time, I actually got someone to buy a six-pack of some of our gourmet cupcakes, which can fuckin' sell for like, forty bucks a pop sometimes, right? And one of my friends got some weed from the guys next door, got totally wasted, and ate all of them before I could bring them to the bitch who bought 'em. I basically banned her from coming over until she paid me for the ones she ate, plus reimbursed me for the ingredients to make a new fucking batch. I was super pissed, like. Holy shit. But I guess I don't have to worry about any bullshit shenanigans like that with you. I'd totes feed you, though."